black hole of doom

So remember the time I wrote about my wart experience over the summer? Well that darn foot wart CAME BACK. I thought I went through enough torture the first time the doctor used his bladed ice cream scoop, but no. It came back, stronger than ever. Since the doctor was a kook and I never wanted to see him again (plus I think it is his plan to make the warts come back), I decided to go somewhere else.

The waiting room was full. Since I'm going to take the Optometry Admissions Test in less than a month (OMG), I brought some notecards to study. Tough cookies for me, the old couple next to me was SO LOUD that I couldn't hear myself think. Talk about wanting to cut someone...(lolzjkbutactually). I got called back into this super cheery room. The nurse was kind of nice, I think she hated me cause she didn't talk to me much. Or maybe it was because she was entering in data on the computer? Whatever. Then, Foot Doctor came in (funny thing, his first name and old doctor's first name are the same obscure name...whaaat?!) and was super super nice. He checked out my foot and was like, brb I'ma get the anesthesia, and I was like, yeah ok sure, you make me so nervous because I know what comes next, you be a super jerk to me and tell me to stop whining when you jab my foot with a needle, etc.

Now, in a normal situation, apologizing seven times in a row would seem excessive and obnoxious. This was no normal situation, so I tolerated the exorbitant apologies. It actually made me feel better. I almost felt bad to be in pain because he was so apologetic (even though it was a numbing shot, it still hurt. It was the bottom of my foot for crying out loud, the worst combination of pain and tickling EVER). But, next thing I knew, all feeling was gone and we were good to go. The only thing during the whole operation that weirded me out was the smell of burning flesh when Foot Doctor cauterized my wound (didn't hurt at least).

When the procedure was complete, Foot Doctor asked me if I wanted to see it. Wait now, what?! Kooky Doc wouldn't even tell me if my foot was bleeding, let alone allow me to LOOK AT IT!? He waited patiently while I took a picture:

The yellow stuff killed germs, it's not jaundice. Stop being
grossed out....lolz ok fine it is pretty nasty

Not only did Foot Doctor give me medicine to clean out this black hole of doom, but he also prescribed me pain medicine?!?!? That would have been unheard of in Kooky Doctor's office.

My experience with Foot Doctor was none other than excellent (aside from the fact that I'm on crutches during Christmas shopping season and my armpits are sore from said crutches). To the mom who recommended him to me over the summer at the pool, you were so right. Thank you! And thank you to Foot Doctor, for bringing light to this black hole of doom.

i choose you

I've had a very Pokemony semester this year.

It started out over the summer when I found the YouTube channel that had EVERY SINGLE POKEMON SEASON 1 EPISODE. I watched so much Pokemon it was ridiculous. Then they took it offline, and I was sad.
Visited Marisa at her house. What did we do? We watched Pokemon, of course (we also hung out in D.C. and went to Georgetown Cupcakes...nbd).
Went to the beach. Marisa came, too (should I say I had a very Marisa semester?). We played Pokemon scrabble, colored Pokemon pictures and got Pokemon tattoos (not to mention Pokemon pillow talk). So good.

Came back home and searched the internet for more of Season 1. Found it.

Went to college. Saw that the guy's hall had Pokemon door tags. I was super jelly (so was Marisa) so we asked our RA if we could also have Pokemon door tags. She asked us if we'd be interested in having a dorm-wide Pokemon battle...of course we were all up on that idea. Little did we know how crazy things would get...
I ended up being stuck with Jynx, which is probably in the top two ugliest Pokemon EVER (ok, probably number one but I wanted to be nice). I don't feel like explaining the game because I sacrificed myself early on so Marisa could gain more points (I'm a great friend and also had lots of exams and work those few weeks) and wasn't directly involved. To see Marisa's account of it, read here.

One day, we had a fire alarm go off at 6:15 a.m. For some odd reason, I was wide awake and ready to start my day. When we were permitted to go back indoors, I went straight for the piano room. I called my friend, Adam, who also lives in my complex, to come jam with me. What did we decide to play? (Please take into consideration that these are our morning voices)

ignore the fact that I look disoriented

My 21st birthday was fast approaching. I decided to have a Pokemon coloring party, which btw was an outrageous success. One of my friends even got me my very own Pikachu who sometimes joined us for lunch!!

Then it was Halloween. I decided to use my art skillz to carve a Pikapumpkin.

Who could forget that December is Pokemon Prof Pic Month! I chose Ninetails, the most elegant of them all. Not to mention the fact that she's a cougar.










I think my pride and joy of the semester, though, would have to be the Pikapancake. Nothing much has to be said about this masterpiece, it speaks for itself.

One of my friends recently gave me Pokemon Fire Red, Mac edition. You better believe the second I get home from the Optometry Admissions Test on January 10th, you can find me at my computer, reverting back to my childhood ways.


Judge me all you want, but if you are a 90s kid and you weren't a girly girl, you'd be right here with me. ijs

controversially uncontroversial

Although some of the following list (or all of it) may be silly, the joys I've gotten out of each item/person on the list surpasses any embarrassment that may accompany it.

Skinny Jeans
Pros

• When you wear boots, there is not as much awkward bunching
• They fit better than other styles

Cons

• You can't really wear shoes (aside from boots) that require socks with them. It looks ridiculous
• They make you look disproportional sometimes

Uggs
Pros

• They are SO COMFORTABLE. They feel like pillows for you feet
• They keep your feet nice in toasty when you are in Germany during the winter

Cons

• They are ugly as sin
• They aren't water proof (unless you paint the stuff on them, and even then...)
• They make you feet stiiiink
• Sometimes they are too warm and very difficult to take off

Justin Bieber

Pros

• He's got swag
• He's easy on the eyes (...lolz)
• He plays SO MANY INSTRUMENTS (and well)
• He's good at soccer
• He's good at basketball
• He has a good voice
• He can dance

Cons

• He eats donuts out of the trash can (watch the movie)

Snuggie
Pros

• They keep your arms warm without restricting use
• They has two pockets
• They come in stylish colors/patterns (I have leopard print)

Cons

• Dumb commercials

Turbie Twist
Pros

• They are small and don't take up much room
• They keep your hair from dripping down your back
• They come in stylish colors/patterns (I have giraffe spots)

Cons

• They start smelling weird after about 4 uses, but then again so do most towels

Blogging
Pros

• You can be silly and not worry about a teacher giving you a bad grade
• You can pretend you're a famous writer
• You can share your thoughts with the world
• You can make new friends (maybe...)

Cons

• It is not always anonymous, you can get yourself in trouble
• It is addicting
• Sometimes it takes forever to write, especially when you're busy

Jeggings
Pros

• See skinny jeans
• They bunch even less than skinny jeans
• They don't feel like uncomfortable jean material
• You can sleep in them and be comfy
• They look like normal pants

Cons

• They show the outline if your knees
• They are difficult to get over your heels

The word "lolz"
Pros

• It puts more emphasis on "lol"
• It looks sillier
• It's kind of fun to say

Cons

• It is not a real acronym (laughing out loud zebra?)

Twitter
Pros

• It's like a single-lined blog
• It's not as creepy as Facebook 
• It's not as much of a time suck as Facebook
• I can use it on my old school flip phone

Cons

• When your friends don't follow you
• Only 140 characters

I hope I've shed some light on these dark, dark topics. If you try them, you may like them :P

bathroom haikus

My sophomore year of college, I was in a building that had suite-styled rooms. My roommate and I shared a bathroom with another roommate pair. We could decorate it however we wanted, so obviously we taped up pieces of paper and a pen next to the toilet for some bathroom graffiti (without the vandalism charge). In my sociology class, my professor was talking about silly haiku graffiti. I shared this with my roommate and suite-mates. The four of us, in addition to all of our visiting, bathroom-using friends, compiled hundreds of haikus. I was cleaning my room earlier, and I found the haiku sheets. Enjoy :P

The door swings open
Footsteps seen beneath the stall
Poop interrupted

Haikus on the wall
Staring at them all day long
Constipation sucks

Seventeen kernels
I haven't had corn in weeks
Oh, the mystery

I need to do work
One thing is holding me back
I bet you can guess

Running to the dorm
I might just go in my pants
Accidents happen

Charmin Ultra Soft
Best decision in the world
My butt is smiling

TP's getting low
If you use the last of it
You need to change it

A long line of sheets
Follows me down the hallway
"Off my shoe, TP!"

Tea goes right through me
Feeling like an old lady
Constantly peeing

Shower is running
While I sit on the potty
I feel so wasteful

2 poops in one day
3 would have been a record
I'll try tomorrow

My legs fall asleep
When I am on the potty
For a long-ish time

Coffee this morning
Haven't finished my cup yet
Now the bathroom calls

Toilet paper gone
This is a huge disaster
Let's go to Costco!

Someone is waiting
For me in my room right now
I couldn't hold it

Study while sitting
Yay for printers and paper
Time management skills

Dinner was lovely
Two Chipotle burritos
Regretting it now

I peed on the seat
I'm hoping it dries quickly
For my roommate's* sake
*One of our friends came to visit us so much that he was referred to as our third roommate...he's so gross

When I have to pee
I forget to wash my hands
Then I write haikus
...third roommate again. Disgusting.

(in response to ^)
You are disgusting
The author of that haiku
It must be a boy

Handle makes it flush
'Round and round the water goes
Tornado in a bowl

To the porcelain god
I offer my humble gift
Pray thee accept it

Back from break early
Mom wouldn't write a haiku
She's such a fart face

Biochem test Wed.
I really need to study
Instead of pooping

Sitting here so long
My feet have fallen asleep
I hope I don't too

Had to go so bad
Finished before writing this
Called the "Prairie Dog"

Pinched off too early
Waiting for rest to come out
Such a waste of time

Fear of biochem
Causing more frequent peeing
Don't have time for this

Real girls do not poop
They peep marshmallow-y fluff
Only boys poop

Stomach really hurts
I'm sitting here forever
Need a magazine

I want soft T.P.
It makes my butt so happy
Your turn to get it

Orgo tomorrow
Reading notes while sitting here
I want to go home

T.P. rationing
Until winter break arrives
Only 4 more days!

Letting it all out
Easiest way to lose weight
Just lost seven pounds

Started the shower
Sitting on the potty now
Waste of H20

I finally peed
It was asparagusy
Merw...worst smell ever

I had English Tea
Before my tests this morning
Paying for it now

Party while I poop
My suite-mate and roommate here
I feel so awkward

Just cleaned the potty
Makes my pee pee look greenish
That's not natural

Freak-a-leakin out
Literally leaking now
Last final at 9!


There were many more, but these were the best and bathroom related.

Authors are not listed due to privacy restrictions