My sophomore year of college, I was in a building that had suite-styled rooms. My roommate and I shared a bathroom with another roommate pair. We could decorate it however we wanted, so obviously we taped up pieces of paper and a pen next to the toilet for some bathroom graffiti (without the vandalism charge). In my sociology class, my professor was talking about silly haiku graffiti. I shared this with my roommate and suite-mates. The four of us, in addition to all of our visiting, bathroom-using friends, compiled hundreds of haikus. I was cleaning my room earlier, and I found the haiku sheets. Enjoy :P
The door swings open
Footsteps seen beneath the stall
Poop interrupted
Haikus on the wall
Staring at them all day long
Constipation sucks
Seventeen kernels
I haven't had corn in weeks
Oh, the mystery
I need to do work
One thing is holding me back
I bet you can guess
Running to the dorm
I might just go in my pants
Accidents happen
Charmin Ultra Soft
Best decision in the world
My butt is smiling
TP's getting low
If you use the last of it
You need to change it
A long line of sheets
Follows me down the hallway
"Off my shoe, TP!"
Tea goes right through me
Feeling like an old lady
Constantly peeing
Shower is running
While I sit on the potty
I feel so wasteful
2 poops in one day
3 would have been a record
I'll try tomorrow
My legs fall asleep
When I am on the potty
For a long-ish time
Coffee this morning
Haven't finished my cup yet
Now the bathroom calls
Toilet paper gone
This is a huge disaster
Let's go to Costco!
Someone is waiting
For me in my room right now
I couldn't hold it
Study while sitting
Yay for printers and paper
Time management skills
Dinner was lovely
Two Chipotle burritos
Regretting it now
I peed on the seat
I'm hoping it dries quickly
For my roommate's* sake
*One of our friends came to visit us so much that he was referred to as our third roommate...he's so gross
When I have to pee
I forget to wash my hands
Then I write haikus
...third roommate again. Disgusting.
(in response to ^)
You are disgusting
The author of that haiku
It must be a boy
Handle makes it flush
'Round and round the water goes
Tornado in a bowl
To the porcelain god
I offer my humble gift
Pray thee accept it
Back from break early
Mom wouldn't write a haiku
She's such a fart face
Biochem test Wed.
I really need to study
Instead of pooping
Sitting here so long
My feet have fallen asleep
I hope I don't too
Had to go so bad
Finished before writing this
Called the "Prairie Dog"
Pinched off too early
Waiting for rest to come out
Such a waste of time
Fear of biochem
Causing more frequent peeing
Don't have time for this
Real girls do not poop
They peep marshmallow-y fluff
Only boys poop
Stomach really hurts
I'm sitting here forever
Need a magazine
I want soft T.P.
It makes my butt so happy
Your turn to get it
Orgo tomorrow
Reading notes while sitting here
I want to go home
T.P. rationing
Until winter break arrives
Only 4 more days!
Letting it all out
Easiest way to lose weight
Just lost seven pounds
Started the shower
Sitting on the potty now
Waste of H20
I finally peed
It was asparagusy
Merw...worst smell ever
I had English Tea
Before my tests this morning
Paying for it now
Party while I poop
My suite-mate and roommate here
I feel so awkward
Just cleaned the potty
Makes my pee pee look greenish
That's not natural
Freak-a-leakin out
Literally leaking now
Last final at 9!
There were many more, but these were the best and bathroom related.
Authors are not listed due to privacy restrictions
