Today was Emily's 8th grade graduation. Of course since I am home for the summer, I was expected to go, and it's whatevs, I didn't mind. I like my sister now (Side note: last summer I avoided her like the plague...13 is a terrible age for anyone). I was going crazy. I couldn't bring my computer, but I brought a piece of paper and a pen. This is what I wrote. It's not funny or anything, it was just a way to express my frustrations in a civil manner. Enjoy.
Could this be any more drawn out? I knew it would be bad...but not this bad. They are going homeroom by homeroom, naming each kid and every single A or B average he/she received. If you're going to name grades, at least say A honor roll or B honor roll... I really don't care if Susie So-and-so got a B average in World Connections, whatever the heck that is (apparently it's the 8th grade version of world geography?). Long story short, it's taking forever and I just want to go back to bed. (Did I mention it was 8:45 a.m.?)
Someone just got the Middle School Participation Award. Wow. Congratulations, you get the award for obeying the law and going to school (Now, I would feel bad saying this if I didn't get lunch with his aunt, who told us he was just lazy and didn't do his work).
My dad just got up to go to the bathroom. I bet he didn't even have to go...smart man. I may try that later.
Em's 6th grade boyfriend just got his award. He got her locker magnets for Christmas, lolz. Luckily, they broke up. Although he kind of annoys me (most 8th grade boys do), he's got some swagger to his step. Good for you, little white boy.
This ceremony wouldn't be as bad if it wasn't so early. Most of my (sane) friends are still sleeping at this hour of the day, leaving me no escape from the middle school gymnasium. At least Em is sitting in the perfect spot for me to make faces at her. And talk to her. Too bad she's awful at reading lips. So far I've been able to communicate "I will cut you" and "I don't care" (in regards to someone getting the highest grade in language arts) to her.
I think the lady beside me is watching me write this. I just caught her staring at my paper. Hello, lady with very poofy hair. I offered her a piece of gum earlier, but she declined. More for me...or my dad. He's been through two pieces already and it's not even 10 yet.
My nose keeps running.
I just want to cry. This thing is so freaking long. You may say, 'Hey, Katie, why don't you complain a little more?' Don't mind if I do.
This old man in front of me keeps leaning back and bumping into my leg or sitting on my feet. So awkward. He's wearing a college basketball t-shirt while everyone else is semi-dressed up. Classy.
Ok I really need to blow my nose. I'll try and hang in there until the applause.
It's Morgan's homeroom! Morgan is one of my sister's friends and our neighbor. She'll tell you anything you want to hear. Last week she told me she was going to break up with her boyfriend because he was so strange; he told her he wanted her to kiss him...IN CHURCH. Lolz, but good for her! I just waved at her. She, unlike Emily, actually waved back.
Well, I just went to the bathroom to blow my nose. I should have stayed in there longer to pass the time by, but the walls were so disgusting. When I was in middle school there, the bathrooms were so nice. I guess that had a little something to do with it being a brand new school and all. It hasn't aged very well. That's what 8 years does to you...or maybe middle schoolers are just gross.
My dad just left. His excuse was pretty lame, who has to actually be at work these days...? Whatever. Maybe I'm just jealous. Ok yeah I admit it, I am.
I'm hungry. My mom is taking pictures of cute middle school boys to ask Em about them later. It's the most confusing mix of brilliant and creepy ever; I'm not sure what to think.
Nose is running again. This time I'll stay in the bathroom longer.
The toilets are so short! So are the toilet paper dispensers. I guess that would make sense since this is a middle school, but it's still annoying to try and get a tissue out.
All these kids look like punks. I hope we get to leave soon, the last homeroom is up there. It's 11:15, maybe we'll get out early!
...30 minutes later...
Ugh. Ok maybe not, but whatever. I'll never have to deal with another 8th grade graduation again. Or at least anytime soon.
The only thing that got me through this was the promise of Olive Garden for lunch from my mom. Still not sure if it was worth it.
